My True Shade

To be honest, this is the only place I can be myself-my true self. All day I go about my business, pretending  that I am fine, and that nothing bothers me, but to be honest, I am bothered. I just want to tell these people to go fetch. I don't care what you think about me, I am who I am. I just wish you knew who the true Kierah that I know. I want somebody I can count on. Somebody to laugh with me, and make me feel all warm inside. And no, I am not talking about having a boyfriend. I just want a friend, a buddy that doesn't try so hard to understand me. Just somebody that I can tell everything to. Someone that honestly understands my humor and wit. Someone that will stay up late with me, paint each others toenails (though she is going to have to understand that feet are gross. And it is very likely so are hers. Feet give me the creeps), talk about last Fridays date... I just want a friend. I don't need anybody to make me happy, no man, no girl, but I just want somebody. Somebody to spend countless hours flipping through magazines and telling the latest stories about how my parents annoyed me. I just want a friend. To go ahead and grow up already! I want it all so badly. And the worst part about wanting something so badly; is not knowing what it is you are searching for. So many options and confusion, I wish there was some hidden guide in secret libraries that told you all the keys in life. I wish it had a "Do" and "Don't" list. But there is no such thing. There can't be. Some people are blessed and don't have to work very hard for things they want. Then there are people like me; whom struggle to put the puzzle pieces' together. Whether it be a constant struggle to do the right thing, or maybe it is putting food on the table. Either way, there is always going to be struggle in my life, because there is struggle everywhere. No person is perfect, nor is their life. I just have so many dreams and goals, I don't like not knowing... whatever it is that I don't know.